Online Dating ABC

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Rejection and the Online Dating World

Will there ever be a 'right' way to reject another? You would think that in the world of online dating, rejection would not hurt as much as being rejected 'in person'. So far however, that has not been shown to be true.

As in the world of offline dating, it seems that no matter which way you choose to break it off with another you've met online, it is going to be a slap in the face to the person on the receiving end. It is just human nature. When a person is rejected it is a real blow to his or her self-confidence. Someone who is rejected will always wonder,
'What did I do wrong?' or 'Was it something I said?' regardless of the circumstances surrounding the rejection.

Handling Rejection

If you've been rejected online, rather than spending way too much time dwelling on the subject, try taking a proactive stance. One thing that is certain is that it never is a good idea to repeatedly attempt to make contact with someone who is not responding to your invitation to communicate. If that person is not replying, move on. Continuous contact attempts can be perceived as stalking. You might find your membership cancelled or worse, that your communications are being censored.

If you receive more online rejections than interest, it might be worthwhile to review your profile. You may be coming across as very needy, or not serious about developing a relationship, or perhaps your profile needs more of a positive spin. Take another look at your photo too because it might not be a good representation of you and your features. The photo you post should be of just you otherwise those looking at it may make inaccurate assumptions about who you are.

Being rejected hurts regardless of the scenario, and just as it is when you're trying to make a sale, you'll probably have to hear a lot of 'No' before you get a 'Yes'. So if you think of online dating as a numbers game, realize that the more communication you initiate, the more likely you are to get a higher rate of response.

When You Need to do the Rejecting

Now what happens when the shoe is on the other foot and it is you who needs to do the rejecting? Tread carefully because equally important as what you do say is what you do not say. Regardless of how you approach it, rejecting another is a guaranteed no-win situation. If you send no reply, you're perceived as being rude and having no manners. If you do give a reason, your reason is certain to be scrutinized by the person on the receiving end.

If you choose to use one of the 'pre-written' rejection responses that many online dating sites are making available, those too don't usually go over so well. The most you can do when you need to reject another is to be honest. You can't control other people, but at least you can feel good knowing you did the right thing.

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